Tags

, , , ,

Over the past two weeks, I have been broken down to what feels like my most basic self.  What I keep coming back to is…I belong to God.  I have to hear from Him for myself.  I keep brushing off these “shoulds” and condemnation that settle on me like so many flies.  I keep returning to that basic relationship with Jesus. I must spend the time with Him.  I don’t care about the other things for now – purpose, vision, responsibilities.  Don’t worry; I’m not shirking  anything (I’m still me!) but their importance, for now, has faded.  They will line up in due time.  It’s all been stripped away in this raw season. I realized how full I was of other “stuff”.  I can see so many things now I thought were true that simply weren’t. And I wasn’t hungry for Him anymore!  Disturbing, to say the least.  Only in my car-wreck state could I acknowledge my need for His grace and love, full measure, in my life.

Yesterday, Ruby made me the most thoughtful Mother’s Day card.  Never mind that it’s *next* Sunday.  To her (briefly) it was yesterday.  She surprised me with it just before breakfast.  I took pictures of the card, but the writing is hard to see.  I’ll describe it for you.  It’s all in pencil, a folded 8.5″ x 11″ sheet of white paper.  The front of the card said “Cute, butiful pretty as a princass”, with a picture of what I assume is me, with long, straight hair and pouty lips. No nose.   Inside on the left side is a picture of a queen sitting on a throne.  Her feet don’t touch the ground, I noticed.  Gotta be me.  There’s a king or a prince kneeling in front of me, his right arm raised.  He is paying homage to his liege.  The right side of the card says:  “God loves you more than enoeh your royoll magesty”.

He does love me – and you.  I forget that I am a daughter of the King.  As such, sometimes I forget to be grateful for what is when I start wishing for what was.  Our kids are amazing.  They constantly keep us on our toes.  I thank God for them.  This card was like God saying, “See?  I haven’t forgotten you.  Your name is written on the palm of my hand” (Is. 49:16)  It was so sweet.  I’ve spent the last couple weeks wishing certain things didn’t happen.  But they did happen.  I can’t change yesterday.  I can only make the most of today, even if it’s not Mother’s Day.  It was, at least for a moment, for me.

hands

Advertisements