Life According to Zac

I have another guest blogger today.  Here is a short memoir Zac penned this morning as an English assignment.  This is the first draft.  He said I could share it.  I did ask!  Hope you like it.


Get yer own box!
Get yer own box!

We all have those embarrassing moments in the summertime.  For some, it is bringing a white top to a squirt gun fight, for others it may be slipping and hitting your face on the pavement while washing a car.  However, my experience was completely different than most people’s summertime pranks and jokes.  My experience involved a Cheez-It box and my friend’s dog.

It was a cold July morning, around ten o’clock. One of my friends, John, was out in his yard.  I coincidentally live about a block away from him, so the walk was terribly easy.  I had some spare change, and we were hungry as ever.  (If you don’t already know, most teenage boys have not one but TWO hollow legs, if you catch my drift).  We promptly headed down to the local Safeway to get some snacks, when we were met by an old friend by the name of Gibran.

Gibran was one of those kids that you almost never see, but you consider him a good friend.  One thing you have to understand about him is he is tall.  When I say tall I mean he was a good 5’7 when we were twelve.  I, on the other hand, was a measly four foot eleven.

Gibran asked if he could walk with us. I didn’t see any harm in that so we walked down to Safeway, all 3 of us. Soon we arrived, and John and I realized we hadn’t had anything in mind to get at Safeway, so we browsed the snack aisle like those old women with the glasses with cords in the back browse the shelves at the library. We found something decent: a sale on Cheez-Its.

John and I asked Gibran if he wanted some Cheez-Its as well, and he quickly agreed. Our band of preteens was merrily heading to the counter with a prized possession of on-sale snack food, when we found out, after counting change, that “Hey, we can buy TWO boxes!”  We all sprinted for the snack food aisle, much to the astonishment of the nearby shoppers, and ruthlessly grabbed another box.  Now content we couldn’t buy any more snack food, we headed for the checkout line once again.

“Would you like a bag for these?” the clerk asked.

“No, we’ll just carry them.”  I responded.

We headed out of Safeway with big grins on our face as we tore into the first box.  After our appetites were sated for a few minutes, we started brainstorming ideas for the remaining box to be used so we didn’t have to throw it away. I devised a solution: we fill it with John’s dog, Romeo’s feces to get it off the lawn. We hit a brick wall when we realized that we’d have to actually pick up the poop to put it in the box. We all vouched for a different solution: use a picket fence post John had lying around. This actually worked for about the first thirty seconds surprisingly, however, we hypothesized that this was going to go on for hours to fill the box up.  Gibran stopped for a second to watch another neighborhood friend, Eric, come out from his house and wave. We all waved back as he walked over.

“What are ya doin’?” he asked.

I replied, “Eating Cheez-Its. Want some?”


This is the start of this getting awkward. We didn’t show him the full Cheez-It box, we gave him the one filled with dog poo.  I stifled my laughter as did the others as he shoved his entire hand(up to the elbow) into the box. I could not contain it and laughed so hard I started crying.

Eric, on the other hand, was infuriated and confused.  He pulled out his defiled hand and started trying to prod us with it, much to our astonishment. However, his hand was not brown, oddly enough.
In the course of one day, I bought two Cheez-It boxes, made Eric look stupid, and found Gibran.  This was a successful day for me as far as “seizing it” goes.  John, Gibran, Eric and I all headed up to John’s room in the attic after that to play some video games, barring Eric until he washed his hands.


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