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Mine!  (Photo by kitchenmeetsgirl.com

Mine! (Photo by kitchenmeetsgirl.com)

Not to be confused with

Photo courtesy of uncyclopedia.wikia.com

Photo courtesy of uncyclopedia.wikia.com

“Muffin top”, in our vernacular denotes the roll(s) of fat protruding  over the top of the waistband of one’s jeans, shorts or skirt.  Visual aid:

jeans muffin topI am not a fan of these.  I don’t like seeing them.

This term was coined by the Australians, whom, I’ve heard tell by one of their own, are masters of political incorrectness.  While it’s descriptive and leaves no one in the dark as to its meaning, it’s a bit rough on folks.  I suppose it’s slightly better than being called “fatty” or “chubster”.  But I’ve been told, everyone has a muffin top when they sit down.  Except perhaps…

Photo by anantapost.blogspot.com

Photo by anantapost.blogspot.com


Ultimately, we all want to be loved for who we are.  It’s human nature.

jack-muffin-top-01Sporting a muffin top has become a top national fashion crime over the past few years.  I propose a way to stop the madness and get everyone the love they so richly deserve.

Since most are not playing in Miss G’s gene pool, let’s think it over.  Gisele is a model.  She gets paid to show her skin.  For the rest of us, subterfuge is our friend.  Perhaps a little Fashion 101 is in order. Here’s a poll for your consideration.

Nobody wants to see your belly button.  Even if it is pierced.  Again I say, buy pants that *fit* you.  Don’t be vain.  Be kind to your internal organs.  Your liver will thank you.

This public service message brought to you by the United Muffin Tops of America.  Thank you for your support.