I ran 3 miles today. The skies cleared off. The air, fresh and sweet from yesterday’s rain, blew chilly on my face. Wish I could say the run was wonderful, but that would be a lie. It was just okay. I sorta slogged through. The sunshine made it better. I thought about doing more later on today. Then I thought again. I want to reach my mileage goal for the week. I don’t want to kill myself, however. Kettlebells class wore me out. Thank goodness the last of Janathon is tomorrow.
It’s come to my attention that I suck at trusting. I know I’ve written about this before. I’m the “I’ll do it myself” type. I’m organized, focused and sometimes too rigid. And those are my good points! If things go wrong, i.e., not according to my plan, I have a hard time believing they will turn out alright. Bruised relationships nag at me. Doing just “good enough” won’t cut it for me. I want to make it all better, yet I don’t know how. I have to trust God and others and give it time. Marking time has become the norm for months now in some areas of my life.
As I sit here and type this, I realize again that life is not all or nothing. After the morning sun, the rain arrived. The western sky darkened. It poured. The cold wind blew. Then suddenly, the blue sky appeared. Now, the sun glows behind a curtain of white clouds. It’s still out there. Waiting is not wasting time. The sun will return at the appointed time, shining down on a beautiful world.
God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. – Ecclesiastes 3:11