Random bits of space dust careen around in my head. Must share.
As Ruby and I sat down to breakfast in front of our cereal bowls, I drank my coffee. I probably got down two or three sips. Ahh, the synapses perked up. I happened to glance down into my mug, not looking for anything in particular. But then I noticed something floating in my coffee. A flat, black, triangular something with…wings. I used my spoon to fish out a drowned bug. Awesome! I plopped the bug on a napkin. Then I finished my coffee.
What?! I had the proportions just right – molasses, half-and-half, and coffee. I wasn’t about to give that up for some stupid insect.
Yes, I’m a mom. Over the years, I’ve been barfed on, pooped on and bled on. I clean up fresh cat vomit fortnightly. I am the cats’ designated pooper-scooper. So, given all that, perhaps I’ve lost my edge on grossness. It simply doesn’t faze me anymore. I’m less refined than I used to be. I guess I’ve become desensitized to it all.
So what else am I desensitized to?
I’m not sure desensitization is a bad thing. Humans have an inherent knack for survival. We get over things in order to get on with it. Like when I had a crazy boss at Aspen. I needed the job – we needed the job. I dragged myself to work every morning, wondering which version of my boss would show up. I persevered. The boss got removed and repositioned within the company. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect for us to thrive.
Obviously, there’s a down side to becoming desensitized. You stop caring about your responsibilities. You lose touch with your family and friends, stop hearing their hearts and needs. Usually this kind of thing happens in the wake of a great change or in the grip of an addiction. You’re on autopilot, somnambulant in your own life. Hopefully, you get help and it’s a temporary situation.
I guess I want to be careful I’m not desensitized to important problems like pain and suffering. People suffering need help, not my powers of ignoring. Lord, help me to see and to be part of the solution.