Day of Reckoning

So far, I’ve walked two miles, one fast and one slow while getting Ruby to school. Then I did a 20-minute kettlebell circuit workout with 45 seconds on, 15 seconds off.  I’ll try and sneak in some more exercise later today.  Feels good to mix it up, though.

Today is my last day of freedom before I start the full-time job. Oh sure, I’m only working a partial week this week.  Next Monday is Martin Luther King Jr. day, and we’ll all be on holiday together at home.  But tomorrow morning I put the yoke back on my neck.

Ruby is not too pleased. I hung out with her this morning, snuggling on the couch alongside a comatose Rex. If you put on the magic brackish-colored fleece blanket, he will come.

“Will you pick me up at the bus stop today?” she asked as we ventured out into the ombre gray day .  “You can drive me home.”

We live 3 blocks from the bus stop.

“How about I walk you home from the bus stop if it’s not raining,”

She nodded her assent.

I’m going to miss her.  I’ll miss Zac, too, but I’ll see him at lunch time most days. It’s starting to hit me, all these goodbyes I need to say. I’ve said goodbye to First Draft. I’ll say goodbye to kettlebells on Friday. All I can think right now is, It better be worth it.

I know it’s the nature of life.  We let go of one thing in order to grab onto another.  We give up freedom in order to get married and then parent. We give up options, more and more, as we age and punch in our final answer – mate, college major, career, living situation, and on and on. By the same token, delaying decisions often makes our choices for us.  Choosing to stay single until later in life means you may never get married. Opting out of college limits your field of jobs most of the time.

I’m trying to stay positive today. Looking forward to passing most of the household chores onto Jonathon, who has graciously offered to do them and delegate what’s left to the kids.   I know it will be a big change at first, possibly a little stormy. But eventually, it will be good.  I need to look up during the transition.

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God’s throne in heaven.- Hebrews 12:2


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