This morning, around 1:30 a.m., I awoke. I felt feverish. I stumbled downstairs to take my temperature. I sat down while Rex blinked sleepily at me from his cozy curl-up in the corner of the couch.
The thermometer beeped at me. I looked at it and sighed. It’s official. I’m sick now. I had hoped all the sneezing from yesterday came with the wiping down of shelves as I decluttered and organized the public works reference shelf. I found a soils report from 1970, and I did inhale a cubic meter of dust. Alas, the dust merely aggravated things.
Is it just me, or has this flu hit females the hardest? I have only heard of a couple of male cases. The rest, without fail, have been girls and women. It’s like an attack on the extra X chromosome.
Not cool. At all.
I texted in sick to my very awesome boss. A mom herself, she gets it. I could probably have worked through today, Yet it didn’t seem kind to my coworkers to expose them to this ick. Plus, anything I’m working on (sorting through old boxes and files) isn’t life and death.
I feel guilty staying home, though. I have to remind myself that people survive just fine without me.
Sorry for the weird quality of this recording. But the sentiment describes how I feel. Controlling, much? In truth, I’m much better than I used to be. However, this family can take care of itself. My job will be there after the holiday, on Tuesday. I don’t have to be in charge or do everything. God can direct others and I can allow them to step up. Jonathon has been doing a great job taking care of Ruby. I’ve no doubt he will extend the same concern to me.
The “flu” of feeling like I need to be all things to all people infects women like a virus. Pleasing people and making others comfortable often falls to us. We want to help, to ease pain and help heal sickness. As women, we usually fulfill the caregiver role. Not all of us, always a few exceptions here, but my experience has been the majority of us end up serving those in need in our sphere.
Today, I will need to step aside and let someone care for me. This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.