This weekend passed in a blur of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. That’s the truth. Wow, Susan, I hear you say. Thanks for the Monday morning downer. I’m going somewhere with this.
Ruby told me earlier in the week, with tears in her eyes, that she missed me. She hasn’t liked my new full-time working mom schedule. We set a date for Saturday, to hit up a clothing swap and go out to lunch. We did the swap. She was bored. “Are we done yet?” dogged me at every turn. She wanted to go home. I took her home and did the food shopping I needed do do while Zac watched her. Then I brought her a smothered burrifot. See, Ruby wanted to do something *fun*. The things I planned weren’t fun.
Skip ahead to yesterday. I made her favorite, chocolate chip pancakes. Then she plugged into the iPad and watched “My Little Pony” song videos. Realizing I couldn’t compete, I put in a short kettlebell workout and got a shower. Then she jacked into the Xbox. I read a magazine and tried not to get angry as the minutes preceding church ticked by.
See, actions speak louder than words ever will. When it came right down to it, her desire to be entertained overruled her need for me. She didn’t mean to ignore me; she simply forgot I was there.
Don’t we do the same with God? How many times has he called to me and I’ve decided to run 5 miles instead. “Susan, I would like to spend some time with me. I miss you.” But I didn’t need anything from Jesus. So I went on my merry. How it must hurt His heart!
This morning, my heart felt like a crumpled piece of paper. Worship at church had smoothed it out. Making things up with Rubious had unruffled both of us. Yet I still had some tender spots. Guess what? I needed the Lord’s presence again. In fact, in a desperate fashion. I dropped everything and put Him first. I called out to Him and He met me with peace.
Ruby and I need to find a new way to connect with our schedules. I get to discover what she likes now and we can find some common ground to spend time just being together. It’s a transition, but one we’re going to benefit from and forge a closer bond. I won’t give up.
Oh Lord, let me remember Your love and goodness every day! I don’t want to take you for granted. Thanks for showing me what it means to give, unstintingly, day after day, never giving up on. Help me to taste the sweetness of this chocolate-chip pancake life you’ve given me.