Tuesday UnFAQs

Little yippy dog
Your death is imminent and
I dance on your grave

Too harsh?

I know you wondered how I felt about the neighbor’s small dog that I’ve never seen.  Happy Tuesday haiku. Don’t even ask me about the one I *have* seen who wanders onto our property, barking at nothing and no one.

You’re welcome.

I’ve complied a list of seldom-asked questions, because, why not?

Ready?  Okay.

Does your 15-year-old son tower above you now?
Umm…next question.

Is it true that your Dad’s family used to own Thomas Jefferson’s violin?
Glad you asked that.  Yes, it’s true.  When my paternal great-grandmother’s estate was settled, it got sold along with a bunch of other things.  What can I say?  It’s a small world.

What about Thomas Jefferson’s nose flute?  What became of that?
No idea. Nor do I want to know.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what wouldn’t you want with you?
Politicians. Mosquitoes. Sunburn. Pretzels, because then I would get thirsty.

Rumor has it you and Brad Pitt almost went out on a date.
Almost is such a tricky word. 

If you put all the straws in the world end to end, what would you have?
A mighty long straw. Or maybe an ant pipeline.

A train leaves Tulsa heading north at 2:00 and another train leaves Chicago heading west at 3:00.  When and where would they intersect?
A story problem? Seriously? A better question would be “does it matter?”

Why did the pigeon cross the road?
Clean cars awaited on the other side.

And last, but not least…