Tuesday Tuition

I’ve really been battling perfectionism lately.  I am not perfect.  Just want to put that out there.  I don’t do everything “just right” at home.  I sometimes yell at the kids.  I have been known to say contemptuous things to my husband. I even rail at God in moments of great frustration.

As for work, well, I’m doing the best I can.  Sometimes the learning curve feels incredibly steep.  I’m getting it.  But I’m not there yet. I’m finding it hard to extend grace to myself.  I don’t want to put anyone out.  The truth is my particular job – records management and projects and purchasing clerk – affects many people.  Everyone in our group, in fact. I touch the files that touch everyone else.  At times, I delete files that others need.  Yep. Complete accident on my part.

The projects part overlaps into both realms. It also encompasses invoicing, buying and selling of services and other items.  I facilitate closing out projects, too. These tasks help others do their jobs. I’m starting to see how it all fits together.

I want to know all this information yesterday.  I want to have some kind of Vulcan mind meld, or Matrix-like upload straight into my little gray cells.

Alas, nobody can do this for me.  There are no shortcuts here. I have to go to work, day by day, work on the things I understand, ask questions when confronted with unforeseen circumstances and go on. I imagine more mistakes – hopefully minor ones – lurk in the future. I must apply myself with diligence.  However, I will fall down.   But I will get back up again.  I’m thanking God today for employers and coworkers full of grace and kindness.  Now, if I can only extend it to myself.

From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. – John 1:16


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