I’ve really been battling perfectionism lately. I am not perfect. Just want to put that out there. I don’t do everything “just right” at home. I sometimes yell at the kids. I have been known to say contemptuous things to my husband. I even rail at God in moments of great frustration.
As for work, well, I’m doing the best I can. Sometimes the learning curve feels incredibly steep. I’m getting it. But I’m not there yet. I’m finding it hard to extend grace to myself. I don’t want to put anyone out. The truth is my particular job – records management and projects and purchasing clerk – affects many people. Everyone in our group, in fact. I touch the files that touch everyone else. At times, I delete files that others need. Yep. Complete accident on my part.
The projects part overlaps into both realms. It also encompasses invoicing, buying and selling of services and other items. I facilitate closing out projects, too. These tasks help others do their jobs. I’m starting to see how it all fits together.
I want to know all this information yesterday. I want to have some kind of Vulcan mind meld, or Matrix-like upload straight into my little gray cells.
Alas, nobody can do this for me. There are no shortcuts here. I have to go to work, day by day, work on the things I understand, ask questions when confronted with unforeseen circumstances and go on. I imagine more mistakes – hopefully minor ones – lurk in the future. I must apply myself with diligence. However, I will fall down. But I will get back up again. I’m thanking God today for employers and coworkers full of grace and kindness. Now, if I can only extend it to myself.
From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. – John 1:16