Benefit of the Doubt

I ran outside, the sky lit by starshine and a gibbous moon. Birds still slept. The only sound I heard was the music pulsing in my ears and my feet hitting the street.

The town slumbered around me. I kept pushing repeat on this song.

It’s a beautiful day…Don’t let it get away…

True confession time:  I haven’t stayed faithful on my “no sweets” challenge. This, though it’s helped me lose 4 lbs. to date. To be completely honest, I’ve struggled quite a bit. Since February 13 – blame it on Valentine’s Day, if you wish – I’ve eaten some chocolate every day. I questioned whether I could do this at all. Chocolate, you delicious foxy minx. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

You’ve been all over…and it’s been all over you…

Anyway,  the sermon last night talked about doubt. When we start questioning what God has asked us to do, whether He did it in a big way or by a still, small voice, we pull back. We operate in fear instead of faith. We look at ourselves instead of up to God and His purpose. Guess who’s bigger, stronger and able in every way? It’s certainly not us. We need to press into Him and stop looking at ourselves and our circumstances.

What you don’t have, you don’t need it now..

I realized that yes, indeed, this is the mission for 2016. I’ve had a few victories. I’ve walked away from peanut butter cookies that I made. Ice cream and cake don’t pull on me like they used to. I still stumble on chocolate-studded baked goods and dark chocolate, period. Bridge mix still croons its siren song. I can’t have any of them in the house, at least not right now.

Teach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case…

I’m taking this time to realize only with the Lord can I keep my word. The benefit of the doubt is that I learn to trust Him more. So, I am an addict, albeit a recovering one. This means one day at a time. This means I will have good days and bad days. I believe desserts will lose their power over me, little by little. I can’t strong-arm this, exerting extreme control. This will take surrender of my wants and patience.  I need to stay the course and keep seeking God for strength and wisdom.

This is the day the Lord has made.
    We will rejoice and be glad in it.– Psalm 118:24


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