First Flood

50 first dates(source)

Ever get tired of doing things for the first time? My job seems to be a continuous cycle of “first times”. Mind you, I’ve been at it for almost 18 months now. First time writing a logging RFQ. First time ordering a new car for the engineering department. First time writing a safety and accident prevention report for a site. I’m kinda over the first times.

Remember the scene in “50 First Dates” where Lucy (played by the darling Drew Barrymore) says  “Nothing beats a first kiss” over and over because of the loss of her memory? Yeah. I’m over it, like Henry (Adam Sandler’s character) is after 23 times of going in for the perceived first kiss.

Generally, I like firsts. They’re exciting. I think I’ve written about them before, too. So…not a first there. But sometimes the learning curve of firsts get me down. I want to feel competent and finish a task. At this point, I’d also like to know what I’m doing. Give me familiar. Hand me rote, ritual and routine. I’m ready to be in a rut.

Think of the beauty of your favorite jeans. I’m a jeans nut, probably from all the years of being a stay at home mom and living in a very casual small town. The treasured denim hugs you in all the right places and minimize any figure flaws, real or imagined. They’re the right length. Huzzah! They always fit, even straight out of the dryer. They’re comfortable. They’re safe and steadfast, there when you need them. You know you can pair them with whatever (hello, blank canvas!) and look good.

I’m continuing to run at least a mile every day. Ran a mile this morning on the treadmill due to the early morning rain, and walked a mile after it. I felt pretty good. I wanted to do more. But I didn’t dare. Kettlebells lurk on the horizon for tonight. Our instructor was out on Tuesday, which means tonight looks portentous for a beat down. Anyway, this kind of rut, running every day, comforts me. It’s a constant in a sea of change.

I know over time I will get the hang of all these firsts. Don’t get me wrong; this job has a lot of variety. I’m blessed to work with great people and that helps. I’m grateful for all of those things. Sometimes, though, it feels like too much. I find I need to extend grace to myself and others as I navigate even more firsts the remainder of this week. We will get it if we stick together.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12


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