Today was the first day in a long time that I ran any distance outside. I ran 7 miles, my usual out-and-back with a little extra tagged on to make seven. My mind was not into it at all. “Let’s just do 5 miles. How about 4 miles?” it wheedled. It had no intention of being outside, the sky an opalescent gray-blue, for an hour plus.
But I’m the boss. My body found an easy gait and breathing rhythm, despite the Olympic Hwy. hill. It was cold, still in the 30s, but dry. I like running when it’s cold. I run faster and I don’t get as dehydrated. I have to keep running just to stay warm! I told my mind to shut up and just relax into it. No hurry here. Just breathing and one foot in front of the other. It’s recess for adults.
I thought about a friend of mine doing missionary work in Haiti with a team from his church. I prayed for them. I prayed for a few others as they came to mind, asking Jesus to show His mercy and love.
It was like getting reacquainted with the neighborhood again. I’ve run the hill lots of times, but not the whole course past the car wash, Jack-in-the Box and Wal-Mart. Yes, I run on main streets. There’s a sidewalk and not too much traffic on a Saturday morning. It’s not the most picturesque, but it’s my town. I noticed green stuff poking up out of the ground. I saw boggy patches and areas where the rainwater had pooled into spontaneous grassy ponds.
It’d been so long since I ran my route, i couldn’t remember if it was 6 or 7 miles. I realized, almost all the way home, that it was only 6 miles. I decided to add another mile and think of it as a victory lap. My body didn’t like that idea. It was getting tired. I’d burned off last night’s pizza and the morning’s cereal and coffee long before.
What I’ve been learning through a Bible study I’ve been attending at my sister-in-law’s house, is that I’ve been bound up with negative thoughts about others and about myself. Accusing spirits. Bad juju. If I didn’t feel like I got treated well in a certain instance, Satan would whisper, “See? They don’t really like you after all! They’re out to keep you from God’s best.” Lies, all of it. The devil is out to divide us. Would God say that? Or, even worse, beating up myself for not being perfect. I had to stop to breathe a bit on the hill at the start of my run. My usual reaction would’ve been, “Wimp! Don’t stop!” This time, I heard Jesus whisper, “It’s only failure if you quit.” Aha! Forgiveness is key. I’m getting some healing and discernment out of the deal. How much self-hatred have I walked in? How many relationships have I let go or botched because I listened to the Father of Lies?
No more. It ends now. I want all God’s best. I really saw during this run that my mind has kept me from doing my best running and so many other things. Our pastor is always saying, “If you change your thoughts, you can change your life”. I want to reach all the potential that I can. And most of all, I want to be the best friend that I can be to anyone who will have me.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1
Dancing in the Rain 