The view from our living room.
I’ve been called Type A by those who know me well. I guess, on the surface, it looks that way. I’ve barely deviated from my morning routine, except starting it a little later. I’m getting up between 5 and 5:30 a.m. instead of 4 or 4:30. I read my Bible segment for the day. I pray. Sometimes I sing a little, but not too loudly because everyone else slumbers on. I check email and Facebook. I work out with kettlebells or go running, then clean up and get going on the day’s tasks.
I like routines. I like structure. But I like it to have a purpose. Right now, it simply doesn’t. I’m looking ahead most of the time. What do I need to do later today, or tomorrow? I’m rarely fully in the moment that surrounds me.
I was praying about this very thing the other day. What’s next, God? Where am I headed? I didn’t hear anything. To be completely honest, sometimes the answer doesn’t straightaway. Guidance comes in the form of nudges, a subtle suggestion of sorts. If I heed them – whether that be while I’m leading worship, or just talking to a friend – they get clearer. If I don’t, well, they’ll probably come up again. It’ll just take longer to get where I’m supposed to go. God is merciful and patient.
It seems this is a lesson I have to relearn. I’ve gone around this mountain many times before. It all comes back to surrender. It’s finding the beauty in the now. We’re all still living in the house, my parents and our immediate family. God knows my dad and stepmom need their own place. It’s been 4 months. But you know what? This time won’t come again, where we’re this close, in each other’s business, rubbing each other wrong sometimes and figuring out what truly blesses each other. None of us are perfect yet we can love and communicate better. God knows that, too.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7